


Shhhhhh

by Moonscar



Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [23]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Banter, Chatting & Messaging, Cooking, Disowning, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Group chat, Lactose Intolerance, M/M, Peter Parker Has a Family, Swearing, Texting, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, chatroom, chatroom fic, i love clint so much, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: LET US AGGRESSIVELY CARE FOR YOUSpider-Burrito: ya'll have aggressively cared for me enough, it's been a week already-IronPopTartMan: ya'llMischievousSnek: ya'llFalconsAreCool: ya'llSpider-Burrito: this is abuse-
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1169003
Comments: 27
Kudos: 319





	Shhhhhh

**Spider-Burrito** : i'm really okay guys, you guys can stop hovering

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : sssshhhhhh

 **Spider-Burrito** : ????

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay? 

**Spider-Burrito** : as i was saying, i'm feeling a lot better now, there were just a lot of things adding up but i feel a lot better now!

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : LET US AGGRESSIVELY CARE FOR YOU

 **Spider-Burrito** : ya'll have aggressively cared for me enough, it's been a week already-

 **IronPopTartMan** : ya'll

 **MischievousSnek** : ya'll

 **FalconsAreCool** : ya'll

 **Spider-Burrito** : this is abuse-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : now you know how i feel

 **SheBeSneaky** : oh no, how tragic

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN!?

 **IronPopTartMan** : you poor thing

 **CAWCAWMOTEHRFUCKERS** : okay honestly fuck you- i don't deserve this

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : now, just to make sure you're being honest peter, i'm gonna use my secret weapon

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS >>> SheBeSneaky**

**CAWCAWMOTEHRFUCKERS** : is he lying?

 **SheBeSneaky** : no, he's being genuine

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : thanks!

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i have come to the conclusion that peter isn't lying

 **CaptainRighteious** : You just asked Nat, didn't you?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : SHSHSHSHSH IT'S CALLED A SECRET WEAPON FOR A REASON-

 **CaptainRighteious** : I cannot believe you

 **IronPopTartMan** : are you really surprised?

 **CaptainRighteious** : I'm not

 **CAWCAWMOTHEFUCKERS** : i hate you all

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : except peter, peter's okay

 **Spider-Burrito** : ha! take that guys!

 **SheBeSneaky** : _excuse me_

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : AND NAT

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : I LOVE YOU TOO NAT

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : WHY DO I HEAR BOSS MUSIC-

 **Spider-Burrito** : rip clint

**Spider-Burrito >>> CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS**

**Spider-Burrito** : hey clint, are you dead?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : in spirit

 **Spider-Burrito:** close enough

**PopTartLover** : I've made a mistake

 **IronPopTartMan** : if you broke another table i swear to god-

 **PopTartLover** : No! I have been very careful

 **PopTartLover** : I simply cannot find my brother

 **IronPopTartMan** : that is so much worst

 **IronPopTartMan** : how do you lose a grown ass man?

 **Mr.Jesus** : idk ask steve

 **CaptainRighteious** : Okay, I am not _that_ bad

 **Mr.Jesus** : i turn around for 5 seconds and the next moment you're fighting on the other side of the world without my knowledge

 **Spider-Burrito** : so salty

 **Mr.Jesus** : damn right i'm salty

 **CaptainRighteious** : Anyways! About Loki!

 **Spider-Burrito** : oh yeah

 **Spider-Burrito** : me and loki went to get some ice cream

 **IronPopTartMan** : and when did you two decide this?

 **Spider-Burrito** : like 5 minutes ago

 **Spider-Burrito** : tess is with us-

 **IronPopTartMan** : and how did you guys decide this?

 **Spider-Burrito** : well you see

 **Spider-Burrito** : it's called socialising

 **Spider-Burrito** : and when you socialize with a human, outings may become a thing

 **Spider-Burrito:** you wouldn't know too much about that though, would you mr.stark?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : FUCKING ROASTED

 **IronPopTartMan** : i am disowning you

 **Spider-Burrito** : nooooooo! 

**Spider-Burrito** : mr.stark i was jokiiinnngggg!

 **IronPopTartMan** : say that to my bruised pride kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : it's not my fault you're sensitive

 **IronPopTartMan** : wow

 **IronPopTartMan** : the complete and utter betrayal-

 **IronPopTartMan** : i'm gonna go hang out with people who respect me

 **IronPopTartMan** : like brucy

 **CoolScienceBro** : Er, sure? 

**CoolScienceBro** : I'm making myself some tea right now if you want to join me

 **IronPopTartMan** : ew

 **IronPopTartMan** : leaf water

 **CoolScienceBro** : I have some bean water if you want it

 **IronPopTartMan** : fuck yeah bean water

 **IronPopTartMan** : i'm coming

 **FalconsAreCool** : what the fuck is going on

 **IronPopTartMan** : i've disowned peter

 **Spider-Burrito** : i said i'm sorry!

 **IronPopTartMan** : do you really mean it?

 **Spider-Burrito** : i mean, obviously not

 **Spider-Burrito** : you can't apologize for the truth

 **Spider-Burrito** : but it's an apology none the less!

 **IronPopTartMan** : okay honestly how dare you

 **IronPopTartMan** : i'm still disowning you

 **Spider-Burrito** : fair enough-

**MischievousSnek** : is this what true love feels like?

 **MischievousSnek** : [truelove](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9b/9d/71/9b9d7112f36edeb5c18f0cc324430fe2.jpg)

**CaptainRighteious** : I thought you guys were supposed to get some ice cream?

 **Spider-Burrito** : i mean 

**Spider-Burrito** : yeah

 **Spider-Burrito** : but then they had milkshakes for sale 

**Mr.Jesus** : can you buy one for me?

 **Spider-Burrito** : i've got it mr.jesus-

 **Mr.Jesus** : thanks

 **Spider-Burrito** : no problem!

 **Spider-Burrito** : mr.stark, want me to bring you some coffee?

 **CoolScienceBro** : Don't encourage him-

 **IronPopTartMan** : yeah, i'll have some coffee

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i thought you'd disowned him?

 **IronPopTartMan** : oh yeah, he's still disowned

 **IronPopTartMan** : but i'm never one to deny a good coffee-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : fair enough-

~~~~**IronPopTartMan** : wait

 **IronPopTartMan** : peter aren't you lactose intolerant

 **Spider-Burrito** : ... maybe

 **IronPopTartMan** : PETER!

 **Spider-Burrito** : YOU'RE NOT MY DAD

 **Spider-Burrito** : I'VE BEEN DISOWNED REMEMBER!?

 **IronPopTartMan** : FUCK-

~~~~**IronPopTartMan** : did you at least take your lactaids?

 **Spider-Burrito** : ...

 **Spider-Burrito** : er

 **Spider-Burrito** : sure

 **IronPopTartMan** : you are gonna give me a heart attack kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : totally worth it

 **IronPopTartMan** : you won't be saying that in an hour

 **Spider-Burrito** : that's a problem for future me

 **IronPopTartMan** : omg

~~~~**Spider-Burrito** : oh my god they serve dog treats for like a dollar i'm taking one

 **IronPopTartMan** : you spoil tess so bad

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay but she deserves it though, she's such a good girl

 **IronPopTartMan** : true-

 **Spider-Burrito** : and also you're just as weak for her as i am

 **Spider-Burrito** : i see you feed her at the dinner table

 **IronPopTartMan** : shsh

 **IronPopTartMan** : i've never done such a thing

 **Spider-Burrito** : uh huh

 **IronPopTartMan** : yeah, uh huh

~~~~**Spider-Burrito** : we're back! 

**Mr.Jesus** : did you bring me my milk-shake?

 **Spider-Burrito** : obviously

 **Mr.Jesus** : you're a saint, thanks kid-

 **Spider-Burrito** : you're welcome!

 **IronPopTartMan** : what about my coffee

 **Spider-Burrito** : got it too- 

**IronPopTartMan** : thanks kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : you're welcome!

~~~~**IronPopTartMan** : holy shit you're no longer disowned this coffee is fucking amazing

 **Spider-Burrito** : i appreciate no longer being disowned

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : the true way to a dad's heart

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : give them a heart attack earlier

 **IronPopTartMan** : fuck you

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : no thanks, i'm taken

 **IronPopTartMan** : you're right

 **IronPopTartMan** : i'm gonna murder you instead

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ha ha

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : AAAAAAAAAAAA

~~~~**Spider-Burrito** : i'm regretting every life decision i've ever made

 **IronPopTartMan** : i told you kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : everything hurts

 **IronPopTartMan** : you just gotta wait it out kid

 **Spider-Burrito** : T-T

**Spider-Burrito** : loki whhyyyyyyyy

 **MischievousSnek** : don't blame me

 **MischievousSnek** : you're the one who invited me to get ice cream

 **Spider-Burrito** : why didn't you stop mmeeeeee

 **MischievousSnek** : i figured you'd eat it anyway

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay true

 **Spider-Burrito** : but still-

 **IronPopTartMan** : omg

**Spider-Burrito** : okay i feel better now

 **IronPopTartMan** : now that you've shit out all your organs

 **Spider-Burrito** : minor details

 **IronPopTartMan** : i-

**Spider-Burrito** : i'm gonna go out tonight after dinner

 **IronPopTartMan** : okay

 **IronPopTartMan** : as spider-man

 **IronPopTartMan** : or like, on a date?

 **Spider-Burrito** : as spider-man, duh

 **IronPopTartMan** : just checking

 **IronPopTartMan** : anyways, be back by midnight

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay!

**Mr.Jesus** : hey peter, can you come and help me and steve?

 **Spider-Burrito** : sure! what do you need help with?

 **Mr.Jesus** : can you set the table? we're a bit charged here-

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay! i've got it

**Spider-Burrito** : i'm leaving mr.stark! i'll be back before midnight if i dont get murdered!

 **IronPopTartMan** : that does not install any confidence in me

 **Spider-Burrito** : i know

 **Spider-Burrito** : i just like making you suffer

 **IronPopTartMan** : i hate you

 **Spider-Burrito** : you love me

 **IronPopTartMan** : a mistake, truly

 **Spider-Burrito** : *offended gasp*

 **IronPopTartMan** : omfg

 **IronPopTartMan** : you're so dramatic

 **IronPopTartMan** : just go-

 **Spider-Burrito** : see you later mr.stark!

 **IronPopTartMan** : later kid

**Author's Note:**

> I told ya'll (hah) I didn't abandon this- Just a writing rut for awhile now when it came to this series- Hope you guys aren't to upset with me!
> 
> Anyways! Please leave a comment, I love reading them! =D


End file.
